Have you ever seen a happy couple and wondered "how do
they do it? they have it so easy!"? Happy relationships are not reserved
for newlyweds or newly daters. If you want a happy, healthy relationship you
must be willing to give it the same attention as you do in other areas of your
life in which you want to succeed. Here are a few tips for cultivating healthy
relationships and rekindling the flame:
BLAST BACK TO THE PAST-
The
longer couples are together, the more comfortable they become with one another
and the more they take the relationship for granted. Think back to what
attracted you to your mate in the first place? Was it their quirky sense of
humor? Was it the way they listened to you and seemed genuinely interested in what
you were saying? How have you changed in the ways you treat your mate? Do you
show excitement to see him/her when they come home from work?
Exercise:
Take time to make a list of all the things you used to do for your partner when
you were first together. Practice one each day/week from that list and notice
how your feelings are renewed just by remembering who you were, and not by who he/she was.
DATE YOUR MATE-
Keeps
things fun and plan a date night at least twice a month! When you let life get
in the way of your fun times together, the fire can go from a sizzle to a
fizzle!
Exercise:
Call your partner and ask for a date. Take turns making arrangements. Your date
can be as eloquent or as simple as you would like. Maybe tickets to a play and
a nice dinner? Or something simple like a Sunday hike and picnic lunch! Be
creative, and put as much effort into the planning as you did when you first
met.
DRESS TO IMPRESS-
My
grandfather always used to shower and put on cologne before turning in for the
night. When I was a kid, I asked "why do you put cologne on at night
grandpa?" He answered, "You never know who you might meet in your
dreams!"
One
of the areas couples fail to cultivate after being together for some time is in
the bedroom. Do you shower before bed? Do you wear unattractive, faded
t-shirts/shorts because they are more "comfortable"?
Exercise:
If you would like your mate to pay more attention to you than the TV in the
evening, try a little personal grooming before bed and see what happens! Dress
to impress the one you love!
EXPRESS
GRATITUDE-
Consider
your partner as you would a stranger and express your gratitude often. We all
like to feel appreciated, and when we feel appreciated we seem to appreciate
more in return.
Exercise: Be
specific and your thanks will go much further. Let the other know how much you
value him/her and why. Leave a post-it note on the bathroom mirror. Send a
random afternoon gratitude text. Also, spend time reflecting on the reasons you
feel grateful and the feelings will begin to grow even deeper!
MAKE YOUR MATE YOUR PLAYMATE-
Often
times we reserve the side of ourselves where we let loose, laugh out loud, and
act silly for times with our friends. Relationships don't have to be always
focused on bills, household chores, the kids, and the future. Lasting
relationships are those where couples actually have fun together!
Exercise:
Find something you both enjoy doing and have fun doing it together. Maybe you
could play a board game at a local coffee shop? Run a 5K together where you
have to dress as your favorite Super Hero? Pop some popcorn and find a movie
from your teen years- something really cheesy you can both laugh at! Sing karaoke!
Stand up, grab your air guitar, or sing into your wooden spoon and let go of
all dignity for the evening!
A
strong, happy relationship with your mate can be one of the most important keys
for optimal health and well-being. Relationships are an important investment-
the more you put in the more you can get in return. Everyone's relationship is
different. What works for you may not work for another. However, the key
ingredients are the same in every healthy relationship and those are to give
often, trust completely, and love passionately and completely. I would love to
hear any tips you have found that work well in your relationship! Please feel
free to share!
Best
in Health,
Carol
Keller CINHC, E-RYT200, CPT
My
Healthy Friends Fitness
